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July 2009 
What question would you most like answered?
Posted on Jan 14th, 2009
by 
Stef
Stef
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for January 14, 2009:
When will others understand and accept me for who I am?
Access: Public
Ahhh Stef, that’s a tough one. One that I have often wondered for myself.
Some do and some don’t. I feel I can count on my two hands, the ones that do.
What really has begun to matter, is that I accept myself as I am in the moment whoever I am.
I don’tbelieve I am understandable, not even by myself. Understanding is of the mind. The spirit of the heart (Love/Soul) knows and accepts and is beyond understanding.
Blessings to you.
Mary (Joyous)
Mary, thank you for your eloquent and wise words. This seems to be the place that I am also at, accepting myself as I am in the moment. And in this place, I look out and try to see what others are seeing, not really concerned
at their judgment, just wondering. When I first meet people, I am told how kind, loving, gentle I am. As time wanders on and I truly get to know them, they look beyond my kindness and begin to tell me that I am weak, too kind, too nice. I sit and think, well, I like who I am and I know it does not matter what they think. But all the same, I wish to be understood and have friends who just know me for who I am. Better to be too kind than too rude I say, right?
Blessings to you as well Mary
Stef, I ask myself that whenever I find myself in a large group of noisy people. I enjoy being alone or the company of a small group (no more than four, including me). People tell me the same things they tell you, also that I am too shy, tender-hearted and sensitive. Many years ago another sensitive soul recommended a book to me, The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You by Elaine N. Aron. What I loved about the book was that it didn’t try to “cure” me, but showed me how to honor my gifts and use them well in this overstimulating and aggressive culture of ours. Another thing that helps when I don’t feel understood or accepted are the words of Emerson:
Every man supposes himself not to be fully understood; and if there is any truth in him, if he rests at last on the divine soul, I see not how it can be otherwise.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson (Circles)
My own guess would be that those who say you are too kind might be uncomfortable because they sense a lack of enough kindness in themselves.
Barbara, hi! You and I seem to very similar souls. I enjoy being alone also, to a point anyway. I do not have any friends here that are of the like minds such as here at Gaia, and I like to ask the Universe to send me a few. I am sure they will show when they will.
But yes, too shy, tender hearted, and very sensitive, that is so me also. This book sounds perfect, thank you. I will use my borders gift card and go get this.
I do not mind others pointing out my traits to me to help me look at myself from their perspective, and it has helped me make some needed changes, lessons to have been given. But I believe there is also a trueness under those petty things that can be changed, the trueness does not change and I love my trueness, even if it warrants me “different” than most.
The challenge lies in wondering where those people are that can accept my trueness and leave it be. I know I can do that for others.
I like the idea of honoring my gifts and using them. I just signed up to learn Reiki today, perhaps this is where I can place my trueness for the gift that it is.
Hope you have been able to go on your walks! I have been almost every day now, through the snow and rain. I find it so funny that I feel the cold everywhere except my walks.
Thank you so much for your thoughts…….
Stef, yes, it’s tricky sometimes finding the right balance of “self” and “people” time. I’ve been asking the Universe for like-minded friends, too. I bet you’ll find some friends when you go to learn Reiki. Sometimes I get frustrated because I feel I can’t sign up for anything because I’m on-call caring for my dad and my aunt - I never know when I’ll need to run over to take care of something unexpected. And that happens more often than not. We did sign up for a food-coop and the people there seem nice - perhaps we’ll get there more often when we don’t get snowed in as much! My friendships here at Gaia are a spiritual lifeline for me.
I hope the book is still in print and that you can find it!
Maybe some day some how we will have a chance to meet each other and take a long walk in the woods somewhere. You never know… Watch the moon rise over a hill… I hope you stay true to your sweet and kind self. We need all kinds of people, after all, even those of us who sometimes get lost in the shuffle!